englische Witze

[susiebond]

I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other
half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of
space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the
explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the
polarity of the power source exactly e*log(pi) clocks in the
house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a
rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.

My stigmata's acting up.

I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my
previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food
Giant.

The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.

I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.

I've used up all my sick days...so I'm calling in dead!



(hatte ürbigens viel Schbahs bei der Lektüre der vorangegangenen posts, thx! )